I was in a dark place, but I think I’m better now…

I’m linking this post to Sunday Post, Mailbox Monday, and It’s Monday! What Are You Reading?

Uh… whoops! *Looks around in guilt* I had planned to take a small break, but nothing this long. I’ve been going through a lot of stuff mentally, emotionally, and physically. The major one was severe depression. I just started to lose interest in everything; friendships, my plants, animal care, my youtube channel, self care, reading. I just felt down a hole into a really dark place and it has taken me a long time to slowly dig my way back out. I’m still inching my way back up to the top, but I’m starting to feel like myself again.

Let’s see… since the last time you saw me I’ve taken some trips to Ishigaki, Hiroshima, Fukuoka, and I got to check out the new Harry Potter studio museum in Tokyo. We hunkered down for a typhoon that lasted an entire week because it passed us and then decided to make a u-turn and come at us again. I’ve made new friendships, and at the same time lost some friends due to drama (not because they died or anything). I’ve been to numerous cultural events and every time I get reminded that this is my life (and then I start to cry).  I got covid for the first time, and that sucked.

I’ve taken over as “manager” for my friend’s small resin business. She’s been struggling a lot lately, both mentally and financially, after a very serious sexual assault incident, and creating things with resin has helped her anxiety and depression. So, I’ve been supporting her through her new journey. I help her come up with new ideas for creations, create graphics for her Facebook page, I hooked her up with an artist for a custom logo, I created business cards for her in-person events and for her Etsy shop, and I help her with her social media. So with that being said, go check out her shop. The Pourtician on Facebook and Etsy

I think the biggest news for me was that Aiko passed away and I had to bury her on Halloween. She was a senior when I took her in from a family who was moving. So I knew I wasn’t going to have a very long time with her. However, I went in one night to do the nightly routine of foots baths, feeding, refreshing the water dish, etc. when I noticed she wasn’t able to really hold herself up. There were no vets open at that time so I brought her downstairs with me, laid her on my chest and put a blanket over her, and we “watched” TV for a couple of hours. Mainly, I just fussed over her and cried the entire time. I woke up early the next morning and was going to take her to the vet and wait outside for them to open their doors, but she had passed in the night some time. It’s been very hard with the holidays coming up. I keep seeing cute little decorations that I could put in her enclosure, and then I have to remind myself that she’s no longer with us.

I am starting to get back into the grove of things with every day life. I started to do TNR again. Last week I pulled two cats from a location to find them homes. One cat was clearly dumped in the location. He had nails that were clipped within a week or two, and was super friendly. I went to go feed the cats on the pier, and he crawled right into my lap. So, I brought him home and got in touch with a local rescue group to get him into a foster home. Then when I went back to start doing TNR a couple days later, this sick cat walked right up to me, and into a carrier (no food or treats were inside). So, I closed the door, and took him to the vet to get an antibiotic shot and flea meds. The goal was to release him back to his area. However, when I did he wouldn’t leave my side. Normally the cats run off or at least go wandering around, but he was glued to my feet. He even charged at and growled at any cats that came near us. It was all very bizarre. I tried to give the cats food and then go back to my vehicle, but he kept running back to my vehicle when he’d see me walking away, and kept jumping inside with me. He clearly did not want to be on that pier, and I couldn’t leave him behind since at that point it felt like dumping him. So… he came home with me. He’s still in my upstairs spare room and will hopefully be on his way to the rescue next week to stay with a foster family.

So yeah, I’m slowly but surely digging my way out of the depressive state that I’ve been in. It’s been an uphill battle but I’m starting to get back to my normal routines and find my happy place again.

Thank you for sticking with me and checking in on me. I appreciate you all. <3